New Pup in the Office
This is just a quick update. I’m aware it’s been ages since I last made a proper blog post, so this is to make things a bit more up to date.
My main news is that after over a year and a half of being unemployed, I finally started my new job a couple of weeks ago. Despite having such great friends around me, and having some amazing kinky experiences lately, having no job (and as a result, no money) was getting to me. It’s easy to feel pessimistic about it, and that negativity was affecting quite a lot of things in my life.
Starting my new job, I was shocked to realise I hadn’t really felt nervous. Normally, I would’ve expected anything new and important like that to turn me into my usual nervous wreck, fretting about each and every thing that could go wrong. But none of that happened. I felt slightly out of place there for a few days (as a lot of things there are new to me), but not nervous, shy or quiet – very unlike the way I think of myself as being.
I’m thinking that all the nerves, all the stressing that I’ve done in the past when meeting/chatting to new pervy guys or doing something new with them has really built up my confidence in ways I hadn’t realised. All my life I’ve dreamt of being more confident, more able to be open and have a laugh with people and not feel nervous about every single new thing that comes my way. I’m not quite there yet, but I’ve certainly improved. Nothing like being geared up, in bondage, and being played with, to get rid of nerves/awkwardness for most other situations! Seriously though, the guys have helped me, and that’s not just through being pervy with them – it’s through true friendship (and plenty of friendly mick-taking!).
Looking ahead, I feel positive. I’m hoping my confidence will continue grow so I can finally learn to let my pup side out. Right now, AvonPup feels like he wants to finally be able to do his puppy thing and let go of the silly human shyness and worries that hold him back. I’m also hoping I’m gonna be able to be confident enough to top someone without worrying about every single thing that can possibly go wrong. I can hope all I want – the only way to achieve both of those things is to try them, learn from any mistakes, and not give up.
Finally, I’m giving myself an incentive for the inevitable times that my job doesn’t seem to be going too well: I’m gonna save some of my wages each month towards a set of bike leathers. I don’t currently know any more details than that, don’t know what kind I’m going for or anything (though for some reason I think I may know the right people to ask…), but it’s the sort of incentive that will probably work for me – another dream/fantasy I could make come true if I work hard.
So much for my “quick” update!