A Lesson in Self Control

The weeks since Pervyween have been filled with good and bad. Much to my horror, my new catsuit split – one of the worst feelings I’ve had in gear. I just froze, desperately hoping it was a dream, that I hadn’t felt what I thought had happened. Thankfully though, it’s been repaired – but hasn’t yet been used…

It’s being saved for a special occasion. I recently ordered myself my own puppy tail butt plug – something I’d wanted for well over a year. Using it for the first time will be a major moment for me, and so I agreed to not using it or the repaired catsuit until Boots and I next play together. It’s the sort of thing that’s too good to be wasted when I’m on my own and for a quick wank – it needs to be enjoyed properly.

The catsuit spent over a week hidden under my bed in my room – hidden so I wouldn’t be tempted to put it on. I wasn’t as tempted as I would’ve normally been to be honest, I’m more wary about it now since it split. The tail was a different issue – 4 weeks after it left Mr S in the USA, it finally arrived in my paws, and woof did I want to use it! I was originally going to order the small size tail, but Boots somehow convinced me that the medium would be better. Seeing the size of it when it finally arrived… I hope he’s right!

Last weekend, a group of us all met at Pervy HQ to exchange Christmas gifts and have a social weekend. I’d agreed to leave the repaired catsuit and tail with Boots, to take the temptation away from me before it drove me mad. Some “clever” part of my mind also made me decide to take my pup hood and collar for him to look after as well – I would be without my pup hood for the first time in over a year! It’ll all be worth it, I keep telling myself…

They surprised me with rubbery gifts for Christmas, things I’d wanted for so long to make it so my body could be completely covered in rubber – cock and ball sheath, rubber gloves and rubber toe socks! A rubbery box of dreams, a brilliant Christmas present from guys who know me all too well (thanks guys!). On top of that, I got a pair of tinted lenses for an S10 gasmask, something else I’d wanted for a while – though the red tint was a (nice) surprise!

We had a great weekend together, nice for us all to be together for the first time in almost a year. We had a delicious meal, a good laugh, and I made the mistake of drinking cider…

I decided to leave my rubbery Christmas presents with Boots as well as the other gear – the temptation to take it all home and put them on was immense, but I knew when they’d be most appreciated, when they’d make me feel horniest. In the box they went, along with my other rubber gear, not to be seen again until the next time I saw Boots and ZX6rlad – Christmas Eve.

I brought the red S10 lenses home – I needed one last bit of fun when I got home to tide me over until December 24th, and believe me, it was fun…

But that would be it – I’ve agreed to abstain from then until Christmas Eve. Build up my hornyness for that day I can finally wear my catsuit again, have my tail put in me, wear my rubber socks and gloves and sheath. The day I can have the sessions with my Alpha I’ve dreamt about since Pervyween.

It’s only been 6 days since I last cum, but it feels so much longer. I’ve gone weeks before without it, but that was because I wasn’t in the mood, because of stuff going on in my life, not because I wasn’t “allowed” to. There’s a huge difference between not wanting to do something and wanting to do something that feels good and not being able to. The more I try not to think about it, the more it’s on my mind: how horny I am, the gear I want to wear, what I want to happen to me on the 24th, what I want to do to Boots in return. Writing about it here has made me horny too – and 6 days worth of hornyness are bursting to get out, wanting my attention, and it’s a struggle to ignore them.

I’m finding it hard, but I’ll cope – still 6 days to go…

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