Denial

I frequently go through different phases for things I crave – whether it’s a toy I love, or a specific piece of gear or kind of scene, my tastes and mindset changes depending on mood or who I’m talking to (perhaps a bit too easily!).

One thing that I frequently flip-flop on is chastity or cum denial. I go from hating the idea of it, and gearing up as often as I can to cum as much as I can, to wanting chastity a lot, and being horny just over the idea of it (and subsequently locking myself up).

There’s a few different “levels” of cum control that I give myself, and I always try to stick to one of these:


No Cumming Unless Fully Geared

I started trying this a couple of years ago, and went for periods of a couple of months or so, sticking to this rule. Since I got my PA, and besides a couple of lapses, this has been the minimum cum denial I’ve stuck to (so about 8 months now).

For me at least, it’s certainly worked. I find I gear up a lot more than I used to, and it’s gotten to the point where I really struggle to cum if I’m not geared up – I need gear to make me properly horny, which isn’t exactly the worst situation.

Yes, I cum a lot less than I could, and there are times where I’m in the mood to cum, but can’t be bothered to gear. All that happens is that the horniness builds up until I am feeling that gearing up is worth it, and ultimately I enjoy the end results a lot more than having a quick wank without gear.

 

No Cumming Unless Someone Else Makes Me Cum

This is something I started doing once I was mostly healed from getting my PA (mainly because I didn’t want to disturb the piercing too much). Ultimately, it meant I would go up to about a week without cumming, which seemed like a good midpoint between full on chastity and being free to cum whenever I liked.

I still geared up on my own, even if I couldn’t make myself cum. It meant I enjoyed the gear more just for what it was (how good it felt), and also made me even hornier for those scenes with Rubberwulf or one of our friends.

 

Chastity

I still don’t really know how I feel about chastity. A lot of the time, I don’t want it (at least not wearing an actual device), but there are times where it seems like the horniest thing in the world (I’m actually wearing my Steelheart chastity device as I write this post, as it had reached that point where I wanted it badly). After all, I got my PA so something could be locked onto me, so I can’t deny that at least part of me wants no say in when or if I will cum.

I’m still yet to do more than 2 days in a chastity device (while my Steelheart is good, I feel like it puts strain on my PA – and I can’t work out whether it’s due to some healing still going on, or whether the Steelheart tube is too long). I struggle to sleep in chastity, which doesn’t help (although if I kept it on, I’d eventually get used to sleeping in it…), but I do occasionally try to see how it goes.

In terms of being chaste purely through willpower, my longest is about 16 days. To be fair, that was just after getting my PA, so I didn’t exactly want to touch my cock then any way…


In an ideal world, I’d probably prefer to go for the middle option most of the time, but sometimes play isn’t regular, and so the lack of being able to have fun and cum ends up getting to me after a while. Regardless of this, I’m still discovering what I want, and situations can always change.

At least it seems that being in gear to be able to cum has been successfully programmed into my brain, and I feel that chastity of some sort is slowly worming its way into there as well…

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